Not the Girl I Once Was

Confrontation.
Never was a big fan of it.
This year has been literally filled with it. On a very regular basis, I'm confronted with seeing, dealing with someone who has hurt me deeply. The difference between this past year and a whole pile of years leading up to it is that the hope of things getting better one day is gone.
The interesting thing is that before this all went south, I did everything I could to make amends so that we could get to a better place. I buffered consequences, I lied to those not directly involved, I was loyal.
Now the confrontation is different. Instead of hurting and trying to rebuild, there is only tearing down, dividing, opponents where team mates used to be. Its another mindset to adjust to.
I was never very good at the kind of confrontation that involved going head to head against someone else. I'd become flustered, words would escape me, and I'd do about anything to get out of there.
But after being put in that situation time and time again, I've developed a strength that I actually enjoy. I keep my cool, my thoughts are clear, I stand my ground. Perfectly? No. Not yet. But this thing isn't done yet, so there's lots of time and place to get it there.
The way I look at it is that all this is preparing me for something more. Maybe in my career. Maybe just in the rest of my life. Standing calm, unruffled when tensions are very high could serve me well. So bring it on. It's only making me better.